Ending the month feeling good

30th April 2017

Love yourself - see the good - be calm - find joy - be thankful

Loved, loved, loved Guardians of the Galaxy 2, so funny, laughing out loud is my favourite thing to do and it certainly made me do that.  I may have to re watch the first one again now.  We did have popcorn though, plus pizza for tea, today's a new day, line drawn and all is good in my world.

To make things even better, besides my office my house it really clean and tidy, I came home from my meeting yesterday to find mom had not only tidied her own room but give the living room and kitchen a going over too, it was lovely to walk into.  We can chill out together today now.

There's a lemon and thyme chicken in the fridge I think I'll roast and we can have it with roast vegetables and rice instead sounds good, a nice and fresh meal.

My new alarm clock woke me up this morning, I need to work out how to turn it off and not have it go off every morning, boo to waking at 4.44am on a Sunday morning!  I probably wouldn't have slept much longer but still - boo!

My bedroom has come together lovely, I slept so soundly, it's all done now, looks great, I added a few flowers yesterday to soften it and I'm really pleased with the final finished room.  For anyone who's interested this is what it looked like a month ago;

And this is what it looks like now after all my hard work decluttering and painting and all Mark's hard work building the furniture as I wanted it!  Wardrobes, under the window drawer seat and bedside table.  

He's done an amazing job, the quality of the furniture is so good and it's so heavy, I attempted to help him lift just one of the top drawers on that unit under my window and it was heavy as a sack of spuds!   Quality stuff fitted by a quality chap, here's his Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/designdt/, he's yet to put much on it but you can see from my room he knows his stuff and he does kitchens and bedrooms but I'm challenging him to do under my stair case next and box it all in and make it look fab, build Alfie a little kennel, me a little wine rack and make the rest functional.

 

As you can see from the photo the bedside table has a bit of stuff there that is temporary as I'm waiting for a couple more bits to go in the room to finish it off so they're to help put them up.  I really pleased with the finished room.  There's a Scentsy diffuser and warmer to go on that bedside table, having this diffuser;

and this wax warmer 

I already have him in my living room and he's lovely and calming; 

 

Then my room will smell as good as it looks too.  Plus the bonus is thanks to the virtual basket party I've had, those things haven't cost me a penny, they was my party perks! If you fancy the idea of hosting a party and getting some freebies, get in touch with Lynne, she'll let you know more, find out what you can get by looking here https://lynnewyatt.scentsy.co.uk/host/scentsy-parties there's a link on that page to get in touch, I've had a virtual party rather than a physical one and it's worked well, I know one lady is having on in her local pub!  What a fab idea.

Anyway, I'm going to go make my mom and my bestie a cuppa cos they're both still in bed as apparently Alfie only comes to tell me he wants to go up the loo!  Yes I had woke up early but I'd started to listen to my audio book when he tip toed noisily across my wooden bedroom floor - good job I love him isn't it.

Here's to making the last day of April count, then from tomorrow, let's make May matter shall we BeYOUtiful?

That moment you hate the Scales!

29th April 2017

Everything you need, your courage, strength, compassion and love: everything you need is already within you.

There's nothing more disappointing than stepping on the scales and not seeing the loss you expected, I really don't like to see my members upset, it's awful, because there's absolutely nothing I can do or say to make that pain go away.  I can explain why, tell them the results will show, but I know no matter what I say, that person is going away with a heavy feeling in the pit of their stomach and a miserable face (even if it's hidden with a smile in the moment and a 'I'm okay' comment).  I can't control what happens next, how they choose to behave, this is the bit that's most important because this is what will affect the results on those damn scales the following week.   

Some walk away determined to get that result, others walk away totally wounded thinking to themselves "Right, tried really hard and didn't lose weight did I, well you watch me show you how not to lose weight, what shall I eat first!"  We all know the latter makes absolutely no sense at all, but it won't stop them, I've done it myself in the past.  The subconscious mind is crazy sometimes and if you've ever been in this position we both know our inner gremlin shushes our inner yoda and tells the logic, the calm and the clever inner yoda to shut his damn mouth because his way hasn't got you a loss over the last week so you might as well eat all the pies and earn the gain!   Oh yeah that inner gremin makes a good point in that moment, she's a good talker, she's the same bitch who can convince you it's a blooming good idea to stick another £100 on your credit card to cheer yourself up when you get your credit card bill and you realise it's higher than you thought and it's going to take you months to pay it off.  She has a mad, stupid logic all of her own and no one messes with that barmy cow!  Especially if she's hormonal at the time, then you just back away like you would if you were stood in a field wearing red and there was a bull standing in front of you!

Next time you have an unpleasant experience at the scales like this one, remember this blog, I know you'll probably be telling me to shut the ..... up in that moment, in your head if not actually out loud and again, I get it, I've been that girl.  I actually feel sorry for all the leaders (coaches) that have had to put up with the face of doom that I have laid forth on many a weigh day.  I'm grateful for it also though because it is how I got the job in the first place, I'd had that weigh in, it hadn't happened, a stayed the same after an incredible week, there I was sitting in the meeting with a face like a slapped backside, raring for a row, when some women I've never met before in my life asks me how I've done!  Never ask a women with that face, that question in a Weight Watcher meeting I say!  Anyway I tell her I've gained, she starts to 'coach' me and I remember saying something along the lines of 'don't tell me how to be a Weight Watcher, I've been following this plan since I left school!'  I just wanted her to go away and leave me to have my pity party, I was wallowing and I was doing it well.  She didn't she was persistent and told me she was the Area Manager and had I ever thought about becoming a leader, the rest as they say is history.

Anyway, I only lost 1/2lb this week, but I wasn't disappointed, I didn't actually think to myself 'It's ONLY half', I was chuffed because I've stopped obsessing about it, I've started focusing on being as healthy and happy as I can with the weight loss becoming the side effect of that. My life's changed, I've got older, heck I got excited because my washing dried yesterday - that's how my life is now and you know what - I love it.

My bedroom wardrobes and units got finished last night, my bedroom is now ready to accessorize, my beds not coming till the end of May which I'm a little disappointed about as I thought it was a 4 week delivery, but nevermind, I can get my bedding all ready and just put the cushions and stuff on this one till then.

It's all coming together, need shades for my ceiling lights and something to disguise the radiator but that's it complete really - looks so good, just needs the floor hoovering - again!  Then I've got some laminate floor cleaner too. (See I'm talking cleaning products, my how my world has changed!)

Not today though, no, today is all about fun.  I'm off to work this morning to have a giggle with my Saturday bunch, then a sneaky massage before my bestie comes over and we disappear to the cinema to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2, we may go for food too, we shall see.

Hope you've got something nice planned this weekend, another Bank Holiday for you to survive - we can do this BeYOUtiful, here's to a fab day.

I resisted!

28th April 2017

Food doesn't make everything better!

Well I survived the food temptations yesterday, I thought about chips all day, instead I had two delicious, healthy meals, potatoes being a theme.  It made me realise how much I like salad potatoes, lunch was lemon and herb chicken with tinned potatoes, carrots and samphire.  My tea was lush, potato and poppy seed salad with tuna in a tomato dressing, really good and quick, just opened two packets.  That's my kind of Thursday night cooking.

It's a really difficult thing to realise - food doesn't make everything better!  It won't stop my mom asking the same questions over and over again, it won't stop some of the things going on in my house that I don't wish to share with others as it would embarrass others and it won't make my mom's pain or Alzheimer's go away.  Neither will it give me extra hours in a day, do my housework or pay for all the work I've just had done on my house.  Having said all that, it does taste really, really good, make me smile and give me something to look forward to.  It also makes me feel good and act as a false comfort in the moment.  Ah the power of food!   It really is a wonderful thing. 

I know if it didn't exist this dilemma wouldn't either but I do love eating and I don't think I'd want to lose that pleasurable feeling of sitting down and eating a delicious plate of food.  I enjoy it too much and if I'm honest how life is at the moment, it's an important part of my life and whilst I'm being honest, there will be chippy shop chips at some point in the near future because I like them and haven't had them for a while.  They will however be planned into my day, they won't be bought with urgency because I'm looking for a distraction from my life and all that's going on.

It's all good in my world by the way, we're dealing and getting the pleasures where we can, handing the shit (and yep that's the only word to use, can't 'prettify the language up there at all, it is at times literally SHIT). 

It's all good as long as I have eggs in my kitchen! 

Oh and a scentsy warmer to make the house smell good ;)

I have enough food to last the weekend, but I may have a look at No Count next week, I'm going to have a think, I do like the convenience of buying food already prepared for me though, it does help.  Especially with a full time job and being moms carer and trying to keep on top of the house work.  Throw decorating, decluttering and a good spring clean into the equation and food preparation has to be quick these days, it's all tiring and I'm getting no younger.     

I'm going to be able to put my clothes back in my room today, that'll lift one strain, there's clothes all over moms bedroom floor and boxes on the landing, I can't wait to get them back where they need to be.  Think it'll all need re-ironing but I'll do that as and when I need to wear it, you never know the creases might drop out as they're hanging.   Hopefully I'll be able to find my toothbrush charger once it's all been put back in my room, I had to clean my teeth with an uncharged brush yesterday, felt very old fashioned :)

Eggs for breakfast, I forgot to get a loaf, so do I live without or go fetch a loaf - if that's the biggest decision I have to make today, all is good in my world.

Oh I had my hair cut yesterday, yeah cos I have time for that on a Thursday!  I saw an offer on Facebook from a member who's an hairdresser saying she had 3 slots and I thought yeah, the universe is telling you, you were right when you looked in the mirror this morning and thought "you're not going to work looking like that are you?", so I decided to get it cut, a good job she's done too (Carla at the Works in Old Fallings).  Not only did she do a good cut, everyone thinks she did a good colour too -my hairs not coloured, this is my natural colour, it's called I'm going grey and I don't care.

Right I'm off, I'm proper waffling this morning and I need more water and food, I need food.  Here's to a healthy and happy Friday, going into a good Bank Holiday weekend.

Oops, my alarm didn't go off!

27th April 2017

Start where you are, use what you have - do what you can.

Well I need to say thank you to the birds singing outside my window this morning because they've woke me up as my alarm clock failed, need to make this a short and sweet blog as I'm half hour behind now and I've got to go pick up my helper as my regular helpers on holiday, no clue what I'm gonna write as I've literally just rolled out of bed and am still a little asleep.

I'm trying to remember what I did yesterday before my bestie came for lunch, I did the usual Wednesday stuff, walked Alfie, did some paperwork, I did a bit of washing but every time I went to hang it out, it started to rain!  We had the sides from my Indian meal deal for lunch with some chicken, it was nothing special but it filled us up.  I had the rest of the chicken for tea.  The best meal I had yesterday was my breakfast, scrambled egg on toast, the rest was just food but at least I stopped myself from having chippy tea which was what I actually fancied.

Today's going to be a busy one too so I need to have something planned because I have that 'chip shop supper' thought at the back of my mind, I need to have something delicious to tempt me to drive straight home and not go there.  If I have a bad Thursday, it's not going to be setting me up for a good weekend.  Another Bank Holiday too, I hadn't realised it was so soon. 

I really want to paint the living room this weekend if mom can cope with it, I may have to leave it till another weekend though.  My new chair arrived yesterday and it's lower at the back than my last one so you can see a big line on the wall where the old one has dented the lining paper and it's got dirty, that needs sorting out.  She's handled all the disruption pretty well, yesterday was testing waiting for the new chair, I was asked quite a lot of times, 'Did you need a new chair?  Who's having this one?' and other similar questions.  I'll be glad when my brother collects my old one as then it'll settle and the questions will stop.  The only up side to Alzheimer's is she doesn't realise she's asking the same thing repeatedly, it's a cruel, cruel disease.

The painting of the living room might need to wait a week or two to give me chance to put my room back together once he's finished, which should be tonight, he says he's got an hour left to do after work this evening then I should have my very own BeYOUtiful room that I can retreat to for some calm away from my office and the crazy of life.  I can't wait to get all my accessories in there and prettify it up.

Not today though, today's all about my members, getting some of them back on track after the Easter holidays, preparing them for the Bank Holiday ahead and all of us accepting we're doing the best we can in this thing called life - myself included. 

Mmm I could kill a bacon roll, I've got the bacon, but not the roll - see you can't eat what isn't there, it really is the easiest way to keep yourself on track. 

Don't buy it - can't eat it!

I'll end on that bit of advice I think, especially as I had that extra half hour in bed and I need that cuppa, the pint of waters working its magic though.  Have a great day beYOUtiful - you know it makes sense.