It's good to take care of yourself...

31^st March 2012

When any woman honours herself, all women collectively move closer to becoming what they are truly capable of being.

I woke up just before 7am this morning, yay a lie in, and I feel that I’ve finally got my body clock back into order after the clocks changing last week.  I had a very relaxed day yesterday once I’d been to the dentist and walked the dog.  Today I’m going to be more active, I’m off up town to get a copy of a receipt for my ipod that’s gone missing ;( hopefully my gadget insurance is going to replace it as the last place I had it was my handbag so it’s either been lost or stolen.  The latter thought makes me sad, but at the same time I’m not naive enough to think it doesn’t go on.

I actually finished a book this week, Christmas was the last time I did that, it was a good read too, Cheryl Richardson The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time  It’s given me things to think about and work on, but it also made me realise that I’ve already done a great deal of the work over the last few years, I do take care of myself and my needs and it has made an amazing difference to my life.

One of the sentences in the book which gave me something to think about was this; you catch yourself saying things such as "I never have time to do what I want to do," what you're really saying is: "I don't take time for my needs."

So that’s my priority from now on, to take time for my needs, to find the time to do the things I want to do because I have been guilty lately of saying "I never have the time or energy  to do what I want to do."  Notice I’ve added the word ‘energy’ to that sentence, yep I’ve noticed when I have got the time at the weekends, I don’t seem to have the energy so that’s what I’m going to start working on and finding out why, is it my diet?  Do I need to move more? Or do I need to work less?  I’m not sure but I intend to find out.

If you find it tough to juggle the daily demands of living then you might enjoy reading this book, it’s an easy read too.

Anyways I’ve got a busy day planned till 1pm anyways ;), then I shall mostly be chilling again, I’ve also got my next book planned.  Enjoy your Saturday, hope the sun shines.

Free to do what I want....

30^th March 2012

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always, wins - not through strength but by perseverance.

Well I have to admit I’m a little bit excited this morning, which is actually a little bit sad!  Why am I excited, because I have an entire weekend with no plans, apart from a trip to the dentist, a stock take and a massage booked, my weekend is completely free to do whatever I like with.  Bliss ‘-)

What do I plan to do, I honestly and thankfully have no clue, I’m just going to go with the flow and do whatever takes my fancy.  I’ve started my day by using a coupon I’ve had for a couple of months to save 75% on a wall canvas, I’m having this one made into a 30x20 canvas to hang in my office because every time I look at it I smile and remember a fabulous holiday and it also reminds me how lucky I am to have such an incredible mother.

Hopefully the rest of the weekend won’t cost me anything though, I’m going to spend it at home, catching up on the little things you never get round to, that’s my hope anyway.

As soon as I logged on this morning, my homepage which is Yahoo had an article about, Food fibs that will make you fat, that made me smile, as I’ve heard and said most of them I think at one time or another.  These were the ones they’d listed – are you using any of them?

"I exercised today so I can have it"
"I deserve it"
"It's low fat so I can have more"

'I'll never eat that again'
'Skipping breakfast is an easy way to cut calories'
"It's a salad so it's fine!"
"It's a waste to throw food away"
'It's free so I must eat it'
What’s your favourite food fib that you tell yourself or others?  I’ve stopped lying to myself about eating, I’m well aware that occasionally I overeat and I usually know the reason for doing it, I no longer make excuses for my behaviour, nor beat myself up about it, I just acknowledge I’m doing it and ask myself how long I think this behaviour is likely to last.  Then I enjoy it and get back to eating well, I’ve spent 7 days off track eating what I want when I want.  Downstairs I have ¾ of a chicken chow mein I picked up on the way home from work last night, I only ate a bit, so my plan is to eat that for breakfast!  Yes I know some of you couldn’t do that but I can and I will enjoy it.  Then I have a dentist appointment, after which I plan to get on track and return to my healthy eating that I know and enjoy.  I’ve got a weekend free so I have time to consider what to cook and I’m bored with overeating now, I’m ready for some ‘lightness’ in my meals.

So enjoy you’re Friday folks, I really do intend to. x

NO, I don't!

29^th March 2012

Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen. Foka Gomez

Well I’ve kept saying I can wait to run in the summer it’ll be fab, erm what I forgot was it’ll be hard work, went out yesterday at noon, yeah stupid I know but he only time I could fit it in and did 5k which was hard work, it took me 2.5minutes longer than on Monday.  It’s like starting all over again, but it’s worth it for the activity ProPoints I earned 6pp for 35 minutes and then I earned another 10 throughout the day using my pedometer, it all helps to keep me fit and healthy and my weight under control.

I’ve downloaded a kindle reader onto my phone so when I walk Alfie in the morning and there’s nothing much to look at I can read, I’m loving it, on Chapter 8 of my first book, it’s called The Art Extreme Self-Care and it’s very interesting.  I’ve always said taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s self care and the author backs this up. 

She’s giving me a lot to think about and I always like that in a book, it talks about the best use of your time and how we do lots of things and rather than being more organised and time efficient we should actually be doing less if we feel so overwhelmed.  She also covers the power of saying ‘no’ more often, especially to things you’re asked to do that you don’t want to do.  And a good way to decide whether to decline an invite is to ask yourself: "On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do I really want to do this?" The closer your answer is to a 10, the more you should consider saying yes. If you're still not sure, ask yourself this: "If I knew this person wouldn't be angry, disappointed, or upset, would I say no?"  I bet a lot of people would say ‘No’ more often if they knew the outcome would not be negative or cause pain. 

It’s not just invitations we say yes to when we don’t want to go is it, lots of people eat something because they don’t want to upset someone, how silly is that when you think about it.  Your heart may be in the right place because you’re keeping that person happy but is it necessary, is there another way of making that person feel good?

Saying yes to make someone else smile if it’s not making you smile too isn’t really very sensible when you think about it.  And I bet most of the time you saying yes won’t have the impact on that person you think it will, they probably wouldn’t be devastated if you said no, they’d just ask someone else.

So how do you say no to food?!?!?!?!?!?!?

It’s not always saying no just not to offend, sometimes it’s resisting temptation that’s the tricky bit!

Could Two Words Help You Resist Temptation?

Apparently yes!  When you refuse food if you say 'I don't' you can increase your feelings of control, study suggests.

When it comes to weight loss, the words you choose when refusing something tasty can make the difference in whether you are able to resist temptation, new research suggests.

So when you’re offered a bit of chocolate egg this Easter responding with the words "I don't" increases the likelihood you will stick to your weight loss plan, rather than saying "I can't."

This idea is based on the notion that saying 'I can't' to temptation inherently signals deprivation and loss from giving up something desirable, whereas if you said "I don't" it shows a sense of determination and empowerment.

The study revealed the 'I don't' strategy boosted people's feelings of autonomy, control and self-awareness. This strategy also created a positive change in their long-term behaviour, such as renewed dedication to weight loss.

"What's great about this research is that it suggests a strategy that is simple, straightforward and easy to implement. And most importantly...it works, says the authors.  I’d have to agree as when I talk about chocolate I always say, “I don’t like chocolate”, this isn’t strictly true as I do enjoy it when I eat it, but I’ve said that sentence that often I’ve convinced even myself that I don’t eat the stuff. 

Here’s to a day of saying “No” and “I don’t” in a positive way.

Are you standing in your own way?

28^th March 2012

If you are going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it. Leo Rosten

It appears I’ve been busted!  Yep, at least 4 or 5 people over the last week who read my blog have commented that they know when I’m having a ‘good diet week’ because I write about it, when I’m not then I don’t!  mmm partially true, although it’s more when I’m really in the zone as far as weight loss is concerned then yeah I do tend to blog about it because it’s taking more of my day, up so I’m thinking about it more and it’s the easiest thing to talk about, when I’m not I think of other things to talk about, but 80% of the time when I’m not writing about my food intake and my dieting I’m still eating really sensibly and maintaining my weight. 

As I’ve said before I constantly struggle with being half stone over my goal and the struggle is more psychological because I’m happy at the weight I am, I’m happier with everything than I’ve ever been in my life and I know losing half stone won’t change that.  Well in my case it actually would because it would mean I have to eat less intentionally and at the moment I really struggle with that because there’s a bit of my subconscious telling me when I eat and drink more or less what I want, I maintain my weight naturally at this weight.  Because of this fact, now and again if I see the scales rising I will get a little strict and purposely cut back on my intake, and at other times, I work out the ProPoints in foods I buy so that I’m aware of what’s coming into my house.

I know I’ll never been totally ‘cured’ as I like to call it from my eating personality, I’m a xxx eater, I don’t have a name for my the type of eater I am because I don’t want to give it a label, so heck we’ll go with 3 kisses, yep I’m a “xxx eater” a lot of you have the same personality trait.  Being an “xxx eater” means I love to eat, I enjoy everything that goes with it, the company I’m in when I eat out makes it an enjoyable and pleasurable experience, the meals I conjure up in my own kitchen is something I enjoy doing immensely and then I enjoy the food afterwards.  I also sometimes enjoy that almost panicky feeling I rarely get now (it used to be a daily thing when I was an unhappy soul) where I just NEED food and lots of it.  I still have the habit though of mindlessly eating something because it is there, which is why in my house I ensure it isn’t there to give me that opportunity.   I can control it when I’m and I’ve calmed that automatic response down an awful lot, but it’s still there lurking waiting to grab at kids leftovers if I’m at my mates, or even my mates leftovers if I’m in a restaurant!  Yep, that habit is buried deep in me and it’s the one that’s taking the longest to remove, but if I’m honest I don’t know if I want to remove it totally because it’s part of who I am, it reminds me of where I came from, my childhood, so as long as I can control that habit most of the time, I’m okay with it rearing it’s head now and again.  I nearly wrote ‘ugly head’ then but that would make it a negative thing and I don’t want it to be anymore, it’s only negative if it makes me continuously gain weight and become unhappy and it doesn’t.

It’s taken me a long time to get to this place and I’m happy here, successful weight loss really is a journey of self discovery if you do it properly and if you want more than just a weight loss!  If you want to permanently lose weight and learn to control your eating habit, change your eating patterns then you need to get in touch with yourself and learn more about what makes you tick, what you want from life, what you don’t want from life, what’s making you happy, what’s making you unhappy.  Are you standing in your own way?  Do you sabotage your own weight loss success because you want the quick fix?  Trust me there ain’t no such thing, even people who have surgery such as gastric bands still have to face their eating personalities and learn to control them because there’s always a way for all of us to gain weight if we try hard enough!

Well now I’ve confessed to being a 3 kisses eater (I don’t think it was ever a secret really was it!) have a think what kind of eater are you?

A change is as good as as rest.

Tuesday 27^th March 2012

Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution. David Joseph Schwartz

Didn’t want to get out of bed again this morning which is so not like me, the clocks changing really does get in the way of my sleep pattern!  I still managed a 5k run yesterday though so I must have woken up eventually!

I’m even struggling with something to write which isn’t like me!  

Okay then, who had a fabulous weekend fun wise, but not so good dietwise, decided to get back on track yesterday and failed!?  If that was you, however about today we break the habit of starting on a Monday and start on a Tuesday instead. 

Life has a way of getting in the way of our plans but life isn't going to stop getting in the way and that's why you must take the bull by the horns and go for it like you mean it.

There’s always something to stop you isn’t there.  So whether its your diet or something else, you may be thinking or saying you want to do something differently, you may think
about it, and talk about it, yet when it comes time to actually doing it, what happens? You stop yourself. This is a bad time, Monday would be better, tomorrow is the party, my sister's wedding is coming up.  It's always something, isn't it?

Starting today, let’s do some simple things different to show ourselves it doesn’t have to continue to be uncomfortable to make changes, repetition makes things become habit and that’s how we make permanent changes.  See what happens if you make an effort to drive a different route to or from work. Use a different toilet at work – this one always makes me feel odd, I always go for the same toilet – odd I know but I bet you do too! Walk a different path when you have lunch. You'll notice it's uncomfortable. It won't feel quite right. That's because you typically move throughout your day the same way, day after day.

Make an effort to switch things up. Have a different breakfast, or a different lunch.  Any small change you can make, today only, just see what happens when you make a teensy change.

What most people find is it throws them off balance for a moment.  Just the mere idea of walking a different path: First hesitation, "Should I? Oh, this is stupid. I don't think this will help. I'm skipping this." Ah ha! That's the point, right there.

If we hesitate to even try a simple suggestion (such as taking a different path or looking a different way or holding the phone to the other ear) then it's easy to see why changing our entire lifestyle or eating habits can be just a tad bit difficult.

I suggest you check in with yourself today and see just how much you resist change. Some people love change, they constantly rearrange the furniture in their houses, and others never move a chair once it's placed. Which are you?   Think about how much you react when I move my meeting rooms around – it always makes me smile!

I noticed when I run I’ve got into a pattern of going the same direction, so yesterday I made a different turning and went another way, it was good to have a different view on the few occasions I looked up. 

Find something where you can switch it up, and see what happens or if you notice anything interesting. If you do I'd love to hear your feedback.

Right I’m off to get ready for work, let’s have a tremendous on track Tuesday!

Timber..........

26^th March 2012

"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford

Not loving losing the hour, it’s thrown my body clock out so I had a later night last night and now I’m shattered! I’ll be ok after a cuppa but I wasn’t impressed to be woke up by the alarm this morning, I’ve usually been awake a while before it’s time to get up.

Yesterday was a half lazy day for me, I’m getting my house back in order, one weekend at a time, breaking it down, last week my office, this week my room and the ironing.  So I did all the jobs around the house I said I was going to first, all my ironing is done and put away whilst watching a daft movie, then when I went downstairs to get a cuppa, I look up the garden and there’s mom sawing down a tree!  Yep, 74 this year she is but when she decides to do something, she doesn’t think about her age, or her strength or the logic of it, she just starts! 

You’ve got to admire that determination in a person and yes I did go help her with the thicker trunks, two of them anyway, it was almost down when a chap over the back came out and offered to do it with his chainsaw, so he did the last trunk, whilst mom continued to cut up all the branches.  Kept her quiet all morning.

It just goes to show if you put your mind to something, anything is possible!

So if you knew you couldn’t fail – what would you attempt to do? 

If you didn’t spend so much time thinking about your weight and the regular day to day chores that you do, would you like to take on another kind of challenge, or take up a hobby, or strive to achieve something particular? 

Think about it – is there something you’ve always fancied doing that you haven’t got round to or didn’t think you were capable of?

I walked Alfie yesterday morning for an hour and a half, it was lovely and peaceful and calm walking round the pools at Essington and on days like those I realise how happy with my life I am.  I had lots of adventures in my 20s and 30s and at the moment I’m enjoying having less dramatic adventures and lots of calm times.  Me and mom spent hours laughing yesterday, enjoying each others company and chuckling at totally ridiculous stuff that others wouldn’t get.

I always judge my happiness with my life by how often I smile and laugh and luckily I’m doing that a lot these days so I’d say I’m in a good place. 

In my 20s I strove for balance in my life, it was almost an obsession, trying to get everything in sync, well now I actually think I’ve found it, it’s not what I thought it would be, it’s actually better which is a bonus.

Lots of people on a Monday are thinking, “Oh no it’s Monday”, not me, I’m thinking “hell yeah, let’s get this week started”, I enjoy every day, don’t get me wrong by Thursday night I’m shattered and ready for a day off, but there isn’t a day of my week I’d skip even if I could.

If you don’t feel like that about your life, ask yourself what needs to happen to get you there?

IIt's gonna be a lovely day.

25^th March 2012

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

I’ve got out of bed this morning at 5.55am feeling on top of the word and raring to put my house in order, spring cleaning on the agenda today.  I’d put the clocks forward before going to bed so I’ve had a decent sleep even though it is so early.

Didn’t blog yesterday because once every month or two me and my bestie Lynne who’s also a Weight Watcher leader go away for a night to escape reality and that includes everything that is Weight Watchers.  I love my life it’s fabulous and I love my job, however it’s great to get away, forget ProPoints, real life and just behave like giggly school kids and talk utter rubbish, have a few drinks, laugh a lot, eat out, laugh more and fall asleep – usually about 9pm because we’re such lightweights!

This month our destination was Melton Mowbray, why?  Did we go because it has a heritage trail or because it is the home of the famous pork pie.  No did we hell, we went there because we got a groupon hotel deal that included room, dinner and breakfast – we’re cheap!  It doesn’t matter where we go because we’re not going for the scenery, we’re going to sit and chill and chatter and giggle and let’s be honest you can do that absolutely anywhere if you’re in the company of the right person.  Yeah those 24 hours do me the world of good, there’s no planning or packing, we just throw our PJs and toothbrush in a bag and we’re off – bliss.

I’d bought us both a copy of the question book (what makes you tick) to take with us. http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Question-Book-Mikael-Krogerus/dp/1846685389/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332653452&sr=8-1

We had such a laugh filling them in, we got bored when the questions got serious, then went back to it when we were drunk, really good way to get to know someone though, definitely worth buying to keep a copy lying about for nights when there’s nothing on the tv, it might even stop you eating.

We got back at lunchtime yesterday, met Lynnes husband and took their kids to the cinema, we watched, “We bought a zoo”, fabulous film, proper feel good stuff.

It probably means all the good work I did in the week dietwise was undone, but my sanity is restored and that’s worth way more than a weight loss ;-)

I’ve just done the maths out of curiousity, now bearing in mind I picked Lynne up at 10am and the movie finished the next day at 3pm so that’s just 29 hours, I consumed approximately 174pp!  We didn’t drink loads (honestly, we get giggly quickly) we had a pub lunch, dinner included at the hotel (I left most of mine), full English next morning (1 sausage, 1 bacon, egg, beans, mushrooms, tomato, toast), then café lunch of sausage, egg & chips (not large portion) and a fresh cream scone.  Lastly a handful of popcorn at the cinema, but that just shows how much you can consume without going crazy but just not worrying about your intake.  So if my daily allowance is 26 x 2 = 52, plus my weekies of 49, even if I add the 40pp of activity on, I still took it way over!  I’m still smiling though, cos we had fun. (Lynne if you're reading this, see this is why I'm all for amnesia!!!)

On my way home from the cinema I stopped at the supermarket to buy Easter Eggs so we can all play higher/lower in the meetings next week and guess the propoints, this will give you some idea of the damage you can do, if you choose the wrong egg.

So today is all about the tidy up, although I believe it’s going to be a nice day so really should be enjoying the sunshine – maybe I’ll clean my car later if I’ve still got the energy!

I’m now off to walk Alfie in an attempt to get some exercise and earn a few more ProPoints. ;-)

Enjoy your sunshine Sunday.

You know when you just fancy something...

23^rd March 2012

Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

What a day yesterday was, it’s such a busy day for me but if you were my meeting earlier this week you would have heard me talk about how I planned to buy a crusty cob, take the middle out and fill it with salad and a Birds Eye fish in breadcrumbs so that it was like a ‘filet of fish’ from MacDonalds but better.  I haven’t had time to get round to it so yesterday I was a little ahead of my schedule so I went to Asda after checking their website for opening tmes at 7ish to get the cob, but they informed me they didn’t open till half past regardless of what their website said!  So I went to work and popped into Co-op on the way home and found a crusty baguette that said it weighed 200g.  I was chuffed, even though it cost me £40 because mom followed me in and kept picking things up – it’s surprising what an old lady without her purse can get in someone else’s basket!

I got home weighed and pointed it the bread roll – 200g = 15pp, removed the bread out of the middle and weighed again now only 9pp, told mom she could have the middle for the birds because I hadn’t got the time or the eggs to make savoury bread pudding with it as planned previously.  Put my fish in oven, my mushrooms on the top in a frying pan and went upstairs to turn my computer on.  Came down, looked at the chopping board and my baguette had gone, I froze, I knew what had happened, I turned round almost in slow motion to look out of the window to see my mom stood outside tearing it up onto the bird table!  I couldn’t believe it, I shouted through the window “what are you doing?” that’s my lunch, mom – “you said you couldn’t use it cos you hadn’t got the time or the eggs, I thought it’s a bit of a waste of money”.  Bless her she then started scooping it up off the table telling me it’d be okay!  

I ended up having Warbutons sandwich thins – hey ho, it saved me 3pp!  It also made me realise we put far too much emphasis on food, I was devastated if I’m honest, I sat eating my lunch absolutely gutted it wasn’t my hollowed out baguette but laughing everytime I thought about it.  The four images on her are going to be my screensaver to remind me there’s more important things in life than food!

Great weight loss in meetings this week 662lb, that’s over 47 stone and I’ve really enjoyed the meetings this week, I have a feeling that weight loss will be higher next week because of the honesty of the talk this week, a lot of us have realised we have the balance wrong on our intake.

I wished those that don’t stay would because it really does make a difference, I know some of you have been attending a good while and understand the programme but Weight Watchers works because of the group support and even me as the leader learns something every week from my members.  Those that stay lose more weight – FACT!

It’s Friday and I can’t wait to pick my mate up and go have fun, just a little bit of paperwork to do, then let’s the fun commence.

Hope you get to your weekend as soon as possible, remember weekends aren’t just about eating and drinking, they’re about laughing and living. Xx

Cooking on gas...

22^nd March 2012

Do not think of your faults; still less of others' faults. Look for what is good and strong and try to imitate it. Your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes. John Ruskin

Bit pleased with myself I was yesterday I ran 5 mile at lunchtime, it was not the easiest of things I’ve ever done and when I started running my legs felt like lead, as I got to the top of the lane an old man on a bike smiled and said “you sound like you’ve been a long way”, I couldn’t admit I’d only be running a few minutes!  The first ten minutes for me is always the hardest, I have to get my lungs realising they have to get sorted as we’re going for a run and I’m not stopping.  My plan had been to run 30 minutes even thought my training programme said 50 minutes, I didn’t think I’d be able to run that long, so told myself as at ten minutes in, go as long after 30 minutes as you can, then I realised if I kept going at 50 I could get the five mile in, so I did and it earned me 10pp which is a good job as I had a second glass of wine last night and an extra warbuton sandwich thin with ham on, so I ended the day on 46, I still have 25 weeklies and 34 activities earned, so it’s looking good.

Sat here feeling a bit tired and wishing I’d gone to bed rather than have the extra glass of wine!  Hey ho, a good brisk walk with Alfie and I’ll be as good as new.

I was thinking yesterday how many wonderful women I know or I’ve met that always put everyone else first, often to the detriment of themselves, which then makes them unhappy.  It’s such a shame that they seem to think its selfish taking care of themselves before others, when it isn’t it’s really, truly, necessary.  When you take care of yourself, everything else is easier to handle, I find when I’m in a good place and eating well and giving myself time to relax then I cope much better with the day to day necessary tasks.   When I’m not taking care of myself, I feel swamped by it all.

I’d cooked corned beef hash yesterday morning before I left for work, I was that organised and ahead of myself – I so wished I was like that all the time, had that energy and organisation.  I’m not though, I’ve come to terms and accepted myself and the fact I have a cycle, and strangely enough it is a monthly one to match the other cycle I have!  I go from being super organised to super hopeless at least once a month, but because I’ve acknowledged and accepted it, I always know what’s causing my hopelessness ;-) which makes me feel better!

My corned beef hash was delicious, the recipe is on my website, http://www.happyowls.co.uk/hash1.html I adapted the recipe a little so it ended up making 5 servings at 9pp each, I didn't bother with the fried egg but added diced carrots, pepper, celery and courgette to bulk it out and get me five a day in and it was really tasty, I’m going to have the rest for my tea today.  If a veggie wanted something similar instead of the corned beef they could add quorn mince with a bit of soy sauce or Worcestershire sauce. 

Still dark outside, it’s 5.30am, but I hear the clocks change this weekend which should rectify that and summer should be on its way – YAY!  I’m looking forward to running in the sunshine, hoping it will make it more enjoyable for me, speaking of which there’s still time to join us on the race for life at Walsall Arboretum on June 10^th  https://raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org/rfl/confirm_join_group.jsf?group_join=yes&groupNumber=BL3202

Come on, it’ll be fun, we can all go for lunch afterwards with the ProPoints we’ve earned. xx

Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!

21^st March 2012

If you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another. Yiddish Proverb

Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!

Ever feel like that?  That’s how I felt yesterday morning, felt a little like it at the weekend too, but yesterday my mood hit its peak before disappearing and normality returning.  Why did I feel like that, I have no idea, I’m guessing hormones, lack of sleep, a crazy busy month, friends having problems, a combination of things added together to make me want to scream arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!

The upside to feeling like that, this week has been I haven’t used food/booze to calm my emotions, so that’s a bonus, I just acknowledged I was feeling cranky, felt it, dealt with it and now I’m calm again which feels even better.

I ended yesterday on 30pp, earned 5pp with my pedometer, got officially weighed at my meeting and was shocked to find out I’d lost 3lb, it really is good only getting weighed once a week, I was genuinely surprised at my loss and motivated to continue, so I went to bed last night feeling fantastic and believing I will be back at goal by summer.  My motivation and goal is to be able to run 10 miles in shorts and not feel self conscious of the shorts nor like I want to die from the ten mile.  I’ve took my measurements again this morning only this time measured my legs too.  Since I started my Journal on  16^th December 2011 I’m on 1/2lb lighter, in that time my weight has obviously fluctuated but only by 3lb in that time, my hips are an inch smaller and my thighs ½ inch.  I’m happy with that because I’ve had Christmas, my holiday, my birthday, and 4 or 5 weekends away, so I’m rather pleased with that progress.  Now if I just tweak my diet I shouldn’t have much trouble getting where I want to be.  Having a reason and a goal is going to make the difference for sure.

My 12 week running plan that is going get me to ten mile has been spread out further than it should because I haven’t been able to go three times a week, so I’m on about week 4/5 now, but I have got through my crazy month so should be able to get running 3 times a week now, and the sunshine hopefully is on its way too which will make me want to get out there more.  I feel like I’m almost starting from scratch with my running, the 40 minutes I did on Monday was hard work, but I keep reminding myself last August, 1 minute was hard work, so even though I’ve taken a step or two back, I’m still a hundred steps in front of where I was when I started.  Ooo ten mile by August lastest, from 0 to 10m in a year isn’t a bad goal I reckon!

I’m making corned beef hash today, just checked to see if I had the ingredients whilst making my morning cuppa tea and I have, mmm I like that it’s one of my favourites and very easy.  Was thinking from a veggie point of view you could change the corned beef for quorn mince, it would still be tasty.  I’m going to add diced veggies to mine too, rather than just sweetcorn.  Ooo I’m hungry now!  Total Greek 0% yogurt for breakfast today on banana with a bit of honey mmm.  WOW ain’t food fabulous.

Yesterday I had a lovely ham & cheese salad for my tea for 4pp, which meant I could have a nice glass of red wine to finish off my day, lunch was Moroccan chicken tagine with couscous and roast vegetables.  None of these things kept me in the kitchen for very long!   You don’t have to spend hours there to eat well.

Anyway I’ve got a dog to walk and paperwork to do because I want to fit in a run later.

Have a wicked Wednesday – midweek already!

I may not be there yet… but I’m closer than I was yesterday!

20^th March 2012

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

I had one crazy busy day yesterday, my feet didn’t touch the ground, it started with walking Alfie for an hour which earned me 3 activity ProPoints and I planned my breakfast and lunch whilst walking using my app on my phone. 

Next I had a fabulous meeting at Bloxwich, lots of weight loss, 56lb to be accurate, David achieved his goal, losing a total of 72lb which is just over 5 stone, I’m sure you’ll agree absolutely amazing.  David was the first person I’d weighed and the morning continued successful with Jo, Claire, Joy, Angela all getting silver sevens, Lisa, Susan, Joy and Joan achieving their 5% weight loss and Carol & Kelly both achieving their 10% weight loss.  Absolutely fabulous and certainly enough to inspire me and the rest of the group that we can all do it too.

As soon as I got back from my meeting I had to take my car to be fixed, (if you need a good mechanic I recommend Tiff, 07939408405 tmrservices.tiff@googlemail.com, he’s been looking after my car for 7 years or more and he’s great), anyway to be productive with my time, I’d changed into my running gear and ran the 4 miles home from the garage, and after when I picked my car back up I then went and did a bit of shopping so I have healthy food in the house to choose from.

When I got back I took Alfie for another walk, half hour this time, so in total I earned 5pp from walking throughout the day, and 7pp for my run, WOW 12pp towards the weekend.  

I didn’t get round to my paperwork until later but I still made myself cook lunch and dinner, and stayed on track.  Sat down about 6.30 ish and was absolutely shattered, but felt a bit wired from rushing, I thought to myself ‘shall I have a glass of wine to chill myself out, I still have the ProPoints’, but instead I just sat playing ‘words with friends’ for half hour then realised I had chilled out without the wine, all I needed was to sit for longer than a minute and relaxation would follow.  I had a very early night, 8pm and I’m so glad I did because I was truly tired, just got up 5am, so had 9 hours, even if they were interrupted by a restless, poorly dog.

I really enjoyed my meals yesterday, none of them took very long to make, and that’s what I think I need to work on, realising meals don’t have to be masterpieces, they can be quick and tasty.  Pesto pasta is delicious and fast, served with lots of veggies, it’s really filling too.

Yep, my plan is to get back to goal, so that I can enjoy running this summer in shorts without being self-conscious of my legs!  That’s my motivation.  I’ve even got the photo to remind me I can do it!   One day at a time, one meal at a time, I need to prove this week that I can go away, enjoy myself and stay on track, to do that I need to save my weeklies and any activity ProPoints I’ve earned for Friday.   To do that, I need to include plenty of filling and healthy foods, get organised and make time for me and earn some more activity ProPoints. 

I can do that!  What can you do to help you succeed. 

I may not be there yet… but I’m closer than I was yesterday!

What a difference a year makes!

19^th March 2012

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose. Lyndon B. Johnson

What a difference a year makes!  And if you’re interested in what a difference it can make don’t miss my meeting this week.

I’ve just opened my blog from the 19^th March 2011 to see what I was doing on this date last year and I was off out for a posh lunch at a Michelin star restaurant with my friends, so it was a Saturday. That was a lovely meal and a great laugh, which I’d also had the day before when we’d had a training day and gone for afternoon tea where I remember we giggled an awful lot. 

I’m lucky that I can say this last 12 months has been fantastic for me, I’ve really enjoyed it and I’ve maintained my weight having all that fun, so now I know I can maintain maybe it’s time for me to lose that last half stone and see if I can maintain that too.  Yeah thinking back at some of the giggles we’ve had in the last year, I don’t remember what we were necessarily eating but I do remember some of the things we were giggling at, so maybe what’s on the plate doesn’t matter so much in the scheme of things, I can’t even remember what we ate at that Michelin meal, I just remember it looking posh and the wine tasting particularly good!

Did you know that every day we have roughly 200 thoughts about food alone, no wonder we find it so difficult to lose weight, if you think about it, the majority of our social activities revolve around food.  It was Mothers Day yesterday and I’m guessing a lot of you received chocolates, because from the day we are born food and love go hand in hand, your mom feeding you, then when your a toddler food is used as a consoler if you fall over or a treat if you’re good, so it makes sense that your loved ones buy you chocolates to show they love you. 

It’s also no surprise that we turn to food to cheer us up when we’re down, but you can turn that habit around, with time and practice.  I now phone a friend for a good chat now if I feel down, or arrange to meet up for a giggle, it’s much more satisfying than eating.

Yesterdays weather showed how changeable the weather can be, we had rain then snow with flakes the size of golf balls followed by lovely sunshine, my mate 30 miles away got hail stones!  We’re as changeable and as different as the weather, each of us has a reason for joining Weight Watchers and wanting to lose weight.  Can you remember yours?  What motivated you to walk through the doors?  Why did you want to lose weight?  Really, really think about the reason or reasons?  There will have been a deciding moment, a tipping point, it might have been something someone said, or a photo your saw, a thought you had.  And when you recall that reason, hold onto it because that’s your motivation for staying focused and on track.

My final straw was taking my moms elasticised waist trousers on my holiday of a life time back in February 2004, realising I had no photos of me from that holiday because I didn’t want proof of my size, and even after that it still took me a month or so to go to Weight Watchers because I thought I could do it on my own.  I knew what to do and how to do it, so I didn’t need to go somewhere to do it.  Guess what I DID, and once I did, I lost and I think sitting here typing this has made me realise if I want to lose this half stone, I have to go join a meeting again but I need to find the right meeting with the right leader for me.  Mmm that’ll give me something to do today!  Find a meeting.

However you coped this weekend, don’t miss your meeting this week and find the time to stay and sit down for the talk as that’s what makes the difference, Weight Watchers works because of the group support. Xx

Bad weekend?  Draw a line under it and fresh start this morning.  I spent some time on the Weight Watchers website yesterday, it’s got so much stuff on there to help and motivate you, so if you’ve got your monthly pass go have a play.  It’s even got a virtual cocktail bar – what more can a girl want!

Emotional eating - yep we all do it!

18^th March 2012

A year from now, you’ll wish you had started today!

It’s 4am and I’m sitting at a very tidy desk, I feel like I’m in someone else’s office and it’s slightly uncomfortable.  Why am I awake at 4am, I have no idea, something outside made a huge bang noise twice woke me and the dog up and now I can’t go back to sleep, so rather than lie there I’m going to be productive and I’ll have a snooze or a long soak in the bath this afternoon to make up for it.

So why is my office tidy?  Because instead of going for a walk on the chase yesterday, my mate Katie came round for a coffee and offered to help me tidy my office.  Oh my word, it was scary and she was brutal, she said things like, “I can’t believe you run a business from this office, a successful one at that!”   I remember saying at one point, wished I was tidier, and bless her I just loved her reply, it was something like, “no you don't cos then u wouldn't be you. You're the least messed up person I know, but your office is messed up, you collect stuff, it’s who you are!”

I love that she accepts me for who I am, dusty, cluttered office and all ;-) 

I’ve had a crazy month, this is the first weekend I’ve been home for four weekend, its been a month where I’ve realised how much I’ve changed as a person, fourteen different people I’ve spent time with on those weekends away – 14!  I can’t believe I have that many friends in my life and there are more besides, I've always been a loner so this is new territory for me and I like it. 

This week however has been difficult for me because I've realised how many people I now have in my life that I truly care about.   Some of them have been hurting this week and I’ve felt their pain and not been able to do anything, that’s not easy.

We all have stressful times in our lives and we all deal with them differently, but a common thing is comfort eating, which lets be honest doesn’t actually solve anything and probably makes it worse.  I’m glad I don’t really do that anymore, but it’s got me to thinking ‘why don’t I?’

I think it’s because I’ve realised comfort eating makes me overweight which makes me self-conscious and miserable which would make me eat more, so I’ve broke the cycle, I now remind myself of those feeling whenever I’m stressed out and find myself in the kitchen.

For me it’s also been important to realise emotional eating doesn’t just happen when I’m stressed or grumpy, it can sneak in on happy occasions to, celebrations etc, any excuse to overeat! 

My weight still fluctuates, but it doesn’t keep going up and up, I may have a week when I gain a pound or two but that normally comes off the week after, I’ve been maintaining for over two years.  I still should be half a stone lighter according to the charts, but if you notice the word ‘SHOULD’ in this sentence, that I believe is my stumbling block for that last half stone, I’m comfortable at the weight I am, I’m happy in my skin, I have my eating under control and I’m more active than I’ve been in years, so what I SHOULD be isn’t motivating me at all because the word brings guilt with it.  So if I say I could be half stone lighter, I may get there, I may not, I’m still trying to decide if I want to or if I want to continue with my maintenance programme.  Decisions, decisions!

So do you comfort eat, of course you do, we all are emotional eaters to some extent, emotional eating is normal, normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad, bored or just because it feels good.  What’s nicer than eating a few chocolates because it’s mothers day!  Nothing as long as it doesn’t make you feel guilty or stop you losing weight this week, and if it does stop you losing this week but you’ve decided it was worth the trade off then it’s not a problem.  But if it’s interfering with your weight loss or getting you down then you need to find ways to cope.  That’ may be meditation or exercise or something I’ve taught myself to do – FEEL!

Yeah I feel the strong emotions and yes sometimes they’re painful but when did we get so afraid of feelings? After all, emotions, including the negative ones, are a natural part of being human. Everyone experiences them on a daily basis. Yet so many cope with difficult emotions by repressing them, its become an automatic habit to sweep unpleasant feelings under the rug and to stop consciously noticing what the body is feeling.

Yes those feelings can be unpleasant but so can being overweight!  This week my emotions have actually felt physical, from a knot in my stomach, to a gripping feeling in my chest and tension in my head, but eating a doughnut wouldn’t have taken them away for more than seconds. 

A natural response is to seek some way to make ourselves feel better and for most it’s eating, it’s serves as a temporary solution to those feelings of sadness, depression, hurt, anger, self-hate, guilt, stress, boredom, and so on.  You’re trying to protect yourself from feeling pain. It is a coping strategy designed to keep you safe, however that suppression comes with a price.  

Remind yourself that FEELING isn't fatal.  Realise those emotions once released can be processed and you can move on - you will not cry forever. The anger will not keep on exploding forever. The pain will not go on forever.  And once they’ve passed you can heal.

Eating a doughnut won’t solve any of your problems, and they always taste better when not eaten under stressful conditions or to make yourself feel better.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers out there, if you do eat chocolate today, enjoy it, don’t do guilt – either track it, or accept that the scales might not shift in the direction you want them to this week. x

(it could be worse, not sure how, but it could be. Eeyore)

SWOT! WOT!

17^th March 2012

You don’t have time to hate people who hate you because you’re too busy loving people who love you.

I was hoping for a day cleaning up my office today, but that’s now changed, I’m off to take Alfie to vets (nothing serious) and then for a walk with a friend on the chase, followed by my first massage in a month (my back will love me).  After that it’ll be teatime and I won’t have the energy for anything, so the desk will have to wait till tomorrow.  Tomorrow however will be all about the housework, my house hasn’t had me here for a month of Sundays (literally) and I really need to do something, it’s getting ridiculous!

Just logged into Weight Watchers esource and there’s a recipe for eggs benedict, mmm my very, bestest, all time favourite breakfast, I might be printing that off and adding it to my recipe folder for future use for sure.

I had a really busy day yesterday, had to be in Burton-upon-Trent by 9.30am so I was rushing a little, but it was worth the rush, a good meeting with all my leader friends, followed by lunch and may I say – I left food on my plate!  If I hadn’t the plate of 2 chicken & chorizo skewers, with seasoned chips & BBQ dip would have cost me 23pp!  OUCH!  Then the side salad is full of coleslaw and other dishes covered in fatty dressings so you can count about 9pp a bowl!  Plus the bread roll & butter for about 7 they were like little bullets – triple ouch. So that’s my weeklies gone I guess.  Mmm luckily I’m home this weekend so can stay on track quite easily, I might even get to cook a meal! 

Yesterday at our area meeting we were asked to fill in a SWOT analysis regarding our diet, for those that don’t know that’s a list of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats!  A very interesting exercise, try it now – what are your strengths when it comes to losing weight, what do you find easy to do.  For me they would include cooking, I’ve spent the last few years teaching myself to cook so that when I do eat, it’s a meal I’ll enjoy.  My running is also a strength, it’s something I’ve introduced into my life and made it a habit, I go at least once a week, and aim for 3.  What are your strengths, what do you know you do well when you are on track. 

Then there’s your weaknesses, what are they, the first on my list was wine and the second was lager!  Followed swiftly by my mate Lynne and our Friday lunches, we’re not the best influence on each other, it’s something we need to work on because we egg each other on, “I will if you will”, not great for the waistline, even if it is a lot of fun at the time.  I also stress eat, or tend to grab when I’m rushing around as eating tasty foods on those days doesn’t seem so important.  So these are things I need to work on.

Opportunities well that varies for everyone, for me yesterday I wrote finding time to run, using weight watchers esource (to help me find ideas, read successes to motivate me, and to track on), taking half hour to plan my meals for the week and a shopping list, getting Lynne on side and in the zone so we can eat out and lose weight, finding a meeting I could attend for support and motivation.

Threats – Friday afternoons, weekends, being too busy, not making time for me, not finding time to run, being led astray (although I’m easily led!)

What would you’re SWOT analysis look like ;-) I bet a lot of you would have chocolate in there somewhere, that might be a weakness for you, an opportunity would be to treat yourself to a box of Weight Watcher bars and have one a day for 2pp, a threat may be Mothers Day tomorrow and what you’re children might give you, hint heavily today for flowers or money – you don’t want a box of Maltesers for 40pp!

Right lots to do, I better get on, might clear my desk before I walk the dog after all.

Have a fab day. xx